The Good Mom

What makes a good mom? I started thinking about that question this morning after Matt announced that I was a good mom. I quickly replied, “I am a mom, but I don’t know if I’m a good one or not. I don’t think I will know until the kids are grown.” He said, “There’s your topic for today. Write about it.”

So it got me thinking about the moms I know and hang out with. The first one that popped into my head was my sister. She is such a good mom. She genuinely cares for and loves her boys and is always doing the little extra things that make childhood magical. I feel like she goes above and beyond the normal daily things to make their lives exciting and interesting. Whenever I call her she tells me about an outing that she took them on or that they just went to the library or that she’s letting them run around and play outside! Now we’ve talked enough for me to know that every day is not magical, but she seems to love being a mom. Correct me if I’m wrong, Megs!

I love my kids, but I don’t LOVE being a mom. In fact lately I sort of resent it. Yes, it’s true. It is such hard work. I just want to go get a regular job so I can have a break! Anyone hiring?!! In all seriousness, though, I keep coming back to the fact that I do love them—enormously—and I don’t want anyone else to raise them. I want to be the first one to see them walk and talk and learn new things. I want to be there when they get home from school and be available when they need me. I want to feel their little arms around my neck when they hug me and hear their little voices tell me they love me. I know not everyone has the luxury to stay home, and I am so thankful that I do have the option.

Maybe just loving them and telling them I love them is the first step to being a good mom? I know that was one thing my mom did all the time when I was little, and it made such a difference! I remember every morning when I’d wake up she would say, “Good morning, Jenny.” And then give me a hug and kiss. I try to do that with my little ones, too. But is love enough? I’m not so sure.

I have to set BOUNDARIES. I’m not going to jump at their every whim. I’m a little lazy that way. Matt and I decided early on that we wanted our kids to know that they came to live with us. Not the other way around. That meant that they were going to follow our rules and act how we saw fit. I’ve seen so many parents bamboozled by their little ones and they’re constantly running around trying to make their kids happy. I don’t do that! However, this doesn’t mean my kids don’t try to get their own way. The terrible twos have come and they are teaching me many lessons. Having boundaries is teaching my children to be respectful of other kids and adults. I don’t know if I’m a good mom by doing this, but I know how I want my kids to be as adults so I have to start training them now.

I’ve also seen that having traditions are important. Matt and I teach our kids about having a relationship with God. We read them a Bible story every night and pray with them before meals and before bed. It is something the kids ask about everyday and look forward to. We find that if we are acting on our faith then they will see it and want to emulate it, too! I think part of being a good mom is taking a step in leading your kids spiritually, and part of doing that is by making traditions. One of my friends, Cindy, is so good at this! She is always sharing creative ideas she has had for teaching kids more about God in real tangible ways for them to understand.

Another thing I’ve had to learn is to be an advocate. No one else is going to fight for my kids the way I will. Whether it is in a medical situation, at school, or just in regular life, I am the person (along with Matt) who cares the most about their well-being. Sometimes “Tiger Mom” has to come out. I met my good friend, Mileydy, when we lived in Massachusetts. She has been the one to remind me when I need to take a step and say something for my kids! She kicks me in the butt a lot! I’m so thankful for a friend like her who has kids a little older than mine and can give me some pointers!

I know being a good mom is mostly about all the little things that you can’t really pinpoint. Praying for your kids, being there when they need you, loving them through hard times, talking to them. I just want my kids to grow up to be responsible, caring adults. And I hope they still want to talk to me when they grow up!

I’ve only covered a few of the things that I think make a good mom, so, I’m sending off this question to y’all…What makes a good mom? Ideas???